Unfinished Thoughts

Oh how I’ve grown in such a short time. Thoughts of being torn inside when the answer to how are you was always fine. Striving to live without love, a myth amongst lies. Two years since I attempted to let go, crazy how time flies. A bottle with your name on it while I die of thirst. How crazy would I be if I said I truly loved you first? Concerned about the past, checking my rear view every mile. Now focused on the future, and it’s filled with your smile. I promise to see you soon. I’m just waiting for the right afternoon. To say I’m not nervous would be a complete lie. I’m afraid of how you’re going to make me feel inside. For your eyes are my weakness, that’ll never change. No matter the growth, some things are too pure and will always stay the same. I can’t even continue expressing myself. I may really need your help. So here’s what you need to do. You need to just do what you do and always remain true. Always be you. My heart would never lie to me about this. It may get confused from time to time, but your heart is something it would never allow me to miss. But I do miss you.

Shit, I was just thinking the other day when it was you and I in the car. I don’t remember whose car it was, but I do remember the conversation. We were talking about friendship and how I felt scarred. I felt like I could never have a female best friend again. And wow I’ll never forget your face. You did not seem happy at all. But I didn’t understand at the time. I was dumb. I did so many dumb things. That moment always stuck out to me. But there was another moment……