Second Chance

God, what have I done?! I’ve allowed my mind to be the bullet and my heart to be the gun. I’ve run over your pleasantness with arrogance. I’ve betrayed your very trust and fucked the shit outta lust….just because. I’m weakened by my own actions. I’m facing the pain that comes with a negative reaction. I can’t feel my chest, but I believe that it is hollow. I never learned to swim through these tears, so now I’m drowning in sorrow. Without even saying it, I know there’s no future with you tomorrow. And I’m sorry for stealing your heart when I knew it should of been borrowed. Never take without asking, that no longer works in our generation. We spend countless years watching for love to get ready, endlessly waiting. God I loved you, but is there no hope for our hearts to beat in sync? I feel stupid right now begging for our love to one day to be a sure thing. I’ll stop, I can do it, I can be tough. The epitome of who I am relies on this, cause dammit I’m in love!

The real me goes on as if nothing ever occurred. My vision isn’t 20/20 so the memories may be blurred. I’ve grown so much from the time I ever felt the pain. I…crossed my heart and hoped to die, promising myself that I’ll promise to ALWAYS be me if I got the chance again. I promise to be a friend first and let the rest roll in. I promise to respect and care like I know how, regardless of the situation. I let myself go over the years, not knowing if I’d ever come back. But the childish approaches to life did not truly define who I was, so I’m through with all of that. A man of my nature deserves a second chance, cause I WILL make things right. You just gotta allow me to put up a fight. I strive for what I love, that’s who I know myself to be. Just give me a second chance to love like I know how, and finally be happy.

Amaré Vincent

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November Rule

Heartbreak. We all suffer through it. What makes us different is how we react to it. We fall, harder than we’ve ever fallen before. What makes this different is that there’s a soft cushioning on the way to the floor. But what we forget to watch out for is them closing the door on our very good thing. Heartbreak makes that happen, the opposite of how it was all in the beginning. It was tragic. You lost your mind after the pain, you had it. You allow us to get close, just to eventually push us away. We try to understand, but you won’t let us until this day. Good times shared together, it was almost perfect how it all started. To think things would end in sorrow, all because you were once broken-hearted. What’s crazy is that it takes you to lose a good thing, to find replacements, only to be let down in the end. How did I ever love you and also be your friend? You’re not cruel, but this is unusual. A punishment nonetheless, but sometimes you gotta lose to win again. Never wanting to go through this again, you shut out friendships altogether. Hoping that someone will care enough to come back to you and everything will be better. But it’s stupid to live that way, so you finally come to a realization. What you need to prove to her is your dedication. That you love her, and won’t allow your past to hold that back. Forget your past sorrows, and focus on the happiness of tomorrow.

I stare as if it’s our first time meeting. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s your face that I’m seeing. Your eyes, I can feel them. You missing me, I can feel that. I honestly don’t know where things went wrong, but for the sake of it all, I’ll take the blame. It somehow went from simplicity to a damaging game. I haven’t forgotten what you’re capable of. I haven’t stopped imaging life with your total love. So let’s break the barrier and seek out our destiny. Cause I would kill to have you smiling and laughing again because of me.

Amaré Vincent

Second That

Irrelevance. Some act devilish. I can’t explain the relevance but get with this. My lady friend of forever asked me for my hand. She held it tight and said, men she cannot stand. She cried and asked why. Why do they overlook her credentials? She may look average at best but she has potential. Can’t decide on a hairdo, not knowing who she’s gonna turn into. Sadly it’s simple. She doesn’t fit the description. She figured out the encryption, but in the eyes of the majority, she’s a blurred depiction of real. She’s basically fiction. Basic in the sense that she doesn’t blow anyone’s mind. She’s not a whore to the mental, but tries to fuck the emotional, making them feel good inside. But we live in a world where a soul cannot be trusted. We’re reluctant that we can slightly trust ourselves in a small abundance. I wonder where love is.

There are tears on my hand now, and I don’t have the nerve to wipe it off. She believes in the gentleness of my heart and loves how my hands are so soft. So I clench and explain that we live amongst billions, so we are never limited. Limitless, we see love destroyed for lust. We witness betrayal in every sense, we all eventually get thrown under the bus. No one is perfect, and that we need to embrace. Too bad it’s not enough to stop the tears running down her face. I love my forever friend, and that she knows. But a loving friend is never enough, and that’s just the way it goes. So I’m here holding my forever lady friend’s hand, soothing her without saying a word. I look at her and think, she keeps coming in second so I must be coming in third. She crushes on him and likes them, but always ends up alone by my side. To feel alone with someone who truly loves you by your side, is really the definition of love suicide.

She let’s go and insists that she be on her way. I say okay. I’m hoping she’s calm enough now that she can get some sleep. I make sure to tell her that when she gets home, to text me. I lay there, eyes dying to be shut, awaiting her safe arrival home. She gets home and texts me a long paragraph about how she feels so alone. I say don’t, I’m here, loving you to the moon and back. She says she loves me too, stating I’ll make someone the happiest woman alive, and that’s a fact. I sigh and text back, i wish I could but I’ll still second that.

Forever a lady friend. None of the love is pretend. Real enough to turn into a beautiful love story. Too bad I’m second to her like she is to them, so she’ll never have that kind of love for me. I’ll still always love her, but it’s a shame that’s she looking for me, but in them. So I write, “I’m in love with you” to her, but I know I’ll never press send.

Amaré Vincent

Time (I’ve Waited)

Wow, how time flies. Pass us by, our lives are constantly on the move. We revolve around time when time has no mind of its own. Its repetitive nature makes us believe we’ll always have it, yet we always manage to run out. Time being always on our side is pure nonsense. One with common sense knows that time keeps it moving regardless of what it is that we’re doing. Whether it’s a bright future you’re pursuing or a past you’re reviewing, your moment now ends with every second that passes you by. Wow how time flies. We get charged by the hour, paid by the hour, booked by the hour. A price is put on our time as if you could save time by not spending money, not earning money, or even using your time differently. Time exists to keep us organized. If lived by the memories, you’ve already felt like you’ve lived forever. And once time is no longer a factor, but a mere distractor of what is that brings you happiness, you’ve won.

I’ve waited. For you, I’ve waited. I sat here with this book in my hand that I hoped would help me understand why I’m still waiting for you. I know what I have to give, although times I do steer off in the wrong direction, i know. Don’t wait for not knowing what you have until it’s gone. Don’t expect things to be perfected from the start. Isn’t life a learning process? I’ve learned, and I’ve waited. A moving object is still in that it stays together as one, and only as one does it move. I move about my life, while I wait for you. What is that I’m looking for? Something I never speak of in depth? Something natural, with no feelings or emotions ever discussed, just witnessed? It’s amazing how we want what we picture, yet we refuse to have it be worth 1000 words. Why want what you picture when a picture is framed and occasionally paid attention to? Realness. Every bit of me is real. Never perfect for society, but in your heart, perfect down to the bone. But I wait. For you. No time. Are you taking your time or giving it away to someone who is you in our situation? I’ll wait. Or will I take what I have and learn that it is all I’ll get? My time is your time. Wasting mine is wasting yours. We share a look of how it could of been but oh well, I guess this is how it’s gonna be. No longer waiting. Time is no longer a factor. I am happy.

Amaré Vincent