Shaky voices attempting to say how they feel. Shaky fingers when trying to point to what’s real. Words that should not have been spoken. Words that should not have been written. Can’t take any of it back. Wondering the things about yourself that you lack. But blame should not be taken. For no one you have forsaken. Life away from yours may not be what you believe it to be. You might hurt, but the world around you might be happy. But sadly that’s not the truth. We strive to succeed but constantly get stuck with catch 22s. A negative mind believes that everything they do is a lose-lose. A positive mind understands that there are rules. Without rules, our lives are disorganized. Filled with lies, temporary results are just fake smiles made from cries. Ignored sighs, no one to rely. You leave to come back and nothing was the same. Crazy how you can easily fall behind when you’re ahead of the game. One step ahead, i no longer see that. We start to questions the legitimacy of these so called facts. Relax. At times it might seem like you’re in it alone. We’re at different times in our lives but will always be in the same time zone. Restoration of hope that you may no longer have. Heart in my hands in case you need something to grab. At last I had your love for what seemed like such a short moment. When you have something of such rarity, you gotta flaunt that it’s yours, you gotta own it. Lies, we don’t condone it. So close to being a perfect fit. Legitimate. Friendly touches, never intimate. It just wasn’t the time for it. At this moment I realize. That I could never stare in your eyes because I wasn’t ready to claim my prize of a person caring for my heart and making me feel so alive. Now I ask myself why? Maybe I wasn’t ready to give myself up to something that seemed too good to be true. Simply to love you. Punched walls. Downfalls. Late night thoughts. Constantly looking back at the clock. Hoping it’s not too late to do things right. I’m ready now to bring things to light. Maybe act as if nothing was ever wrong. Smile at me when I smile at you cause it has for damn sure been too long. Rekindle a fire that warmed us perfectly when we were together. Shout out to the times before that weren’t perfect, but were definitely better. I miss you. But in a way that’s beyond your physical presence. It’s the essence of your personality surrounding me like a blanket to my soul. It’s you being the epitomy of my spontaneity, living care free and out of control. Can I call you and tell you to meet me by the water? Can you say yes, but after you leave your father’s? Can I watch your curls blow carelessly in the wind? Can we sit back to back as the waves are the only thing that can hear us sing? Seaside melodies like a scene from a movie. Voice of an angel meant to soothe me. Collecting pieces of all that we do to forever cherish the times. It’s a love and love relationship with everything but the thin line. One of the first ones we think of on a daily basis. We hate having days where we don’t see each other’s faces. When we lay our heads down at night, we state all that we’re thankful for. I hope I’m in your top 10 or at least like fourth. Haha, but at the end of the day, I’ll always know that your love is heaven sent. And I’ll forever be indebted to God for sending me my best friend.
Take it to the heart. Every damn word I decide to speak. Let my words shock you and allow my actions to make you weak. Watch as I transform into your physical desire. Watch as my charm ignites as you inhale, setting your soul on fire. Your head close to my chest. Reminisce about my heartbeat and how that moment in time is the best. I’ll take your hands and place them around me. Then I’ll leave for a bit so you remember how much it sucked to be without me. You love to miss me. Straight face when you see me. Ha, like you don’t love me. You love me. Your eyes come alive when I first appear in your field of site. Fear takes over your body, and all that makes sense takes flight. I am the man that demands your love in more ways than one. Water your heart with your tears and let me be the sunshine that helps you grow. Your dreams are my dreams. And however it may seem lately is just a mirage or better yet a collage of your negative thoughts consuming the very vision you envisioned with me there to listen as we connected through the many sections of life we discussed that love is a must and i must state that in many ways we relate and it could be our hearts attempting to speak after the ultimate defeat of the demons who make us think we weren’t worth it and mean it but shit I…love you. Dammit I love you. Did you forget? Your eyes, your smile…they give me a feeling in my chest. That’s my heart telling me the truth that my mind concealed and my soul tried to reveal. I know you don’t love me to that extent but allow me to extend this proposal. If you still don’t change your mind, please mind my feelings with a proper disposal. No one will understand you like I do. No one will listen like I do. No one will hold you like I do. No one will look at you like i do. No one will ever believe in you like I do. No one will ever…never ever…ever..love you like I do. My heart has a mind of its own and it’s been made up. Wrapped inside your soul, I just wanna fill your emptiness with love. Dream come true, so come too. Yes you. Lady love. Try me and you might love too. Let my love be the reason why you randomly smile. Let my touch be why you always wanna stay a while. All I have now are the memories. Time is only in existence as I await the day you fall in love with me.
When you’ve lost your mind, it’s as if no one could ever understand. When you’ve lost your direction, it’s as if there’s no truth to the word perfection. When you’ve lost your way, it’s as if nothing good that comes will ever stay. When you’ve lost your soul, of your life you no longer have control. When you’ve lost your meaning, nothing is worth loving, nothing is worth keeping. When you’ve lost your heart, your whole world falls apart. When you’ve lost your smile, everything wrong seems to be your fault, you’re liable. When you’ve lost your laughter, you’ve lost your character. When you’ve lost your friend, sadness never seems to end. When you’ve lost it all, you’ve lost everything that makes you, you…such an everlasting downfall.
When i look at my left hand, i see my reflection. I understand my life choices, i understand why I’ve made certain selections. When i look at my right hand, i see you. I see direction, i see love. I see all that is good, or used to be at least. But things fall apart. I guess you can’t fit everything you’ve loved in your heart. See when you’ve lost your friend, everything that you two shared now seems pretend. One knows that this is no longer in existence when it gets past stubbornness. It’s now a state of mind. Might as well rewind when it was all innocent. We were never aware of each other’s existence. See because when you’ve lost the closest thing you had to a best friend, you’ve lost hope that you’ll ever have the support and feeling again. Time is all yours. To me it doesn’t exist. We use it as an excuse to prolong negative feelings. Why do the best things in life seem so short, yet pain seems like it lasts forever? Simple. It’s a state of mind. I pray for the day we all realize this. I may be selfish for wanting the good now, but i refuse to be punished with the bad for any period of time. See when you’ve lost your mind, you start to mind when things ain’t right. So let’s make me the enemy. Let’s roll our eyes at how ridiculous i sound. Let’s shake our heads at how annoying my voice sounds when i ask for love and nothing less. See when you feel like you have nothing at all, you might just be right about it. I no longer have the strength to hold on to what doesn’t want to be held on to. All I have are these rocks. This is the last bit of emotion i have left. Oh how i wish i was being dramatic. Oh how i wish i was overreacting. This is the reaction to my actions.