I Just Called To Say…

Good morning. Today I woke up with you on my mind. I felt like I haven’t seen you in a long time. I think it’s my mind playing tricks on me. So I just called to say that I miss you and to let you know that I dreamt about you the other night. I was on the verge of packing up all my things and leaving. No one knows where I’m going, not even me. But I seemed happy to be going, but expressed how sad I was to be leaving you. I promised that i’d be back in no time, so continue loving me with every bit of your heart and soul. You were in fact the perfect mate for my soul. You followed me everywhere I went until I stepped out the door. I said my goodbyes and saved the best for last. With an adorable sad face, you approached me. I’m ready to give you one of the biggest hugs I’ve ever given you. That is exactly what happened. There were fireworks and a crowd cheering and everything. Haha, nah I’m kidding. But in all seriousness, I couldn’t leave you just like that. So I walked towards you with the intention of telling you those words you’ve been dying to hear. Instead, you stop me and blow my mind with the most amazing kiss I’ve ever received in my entire life. See now this is where I believed that I would wake up. But I was stuck staring in your eyes. The only reason I would stare into your lovely eyes was if I was in love. I think I’m in love.

After getting off the phone with you, I had the perfect day. Being on my mind the entire time, it seemed like you were there every step of the way. But it is now time to lay my head down to rest and potentially dream of you you you! But before I do, I dial the number that gives me the temporary priviledge of hearing your voice. I’m ready to say it all, I’m ready to let it out. I promise this time I won’t hesitate. Now before I do or say anything, you need to know something. I really am in love with yogurt parfaits. But I would give them up forever to be in love with you and have you in love with me. I’m not bluffing, no no no. Your embrace beats out their taste. Your beauty beats out how delicious they look. I won’t change for a soul, but will do so for a heart and soul. I’ll change for the better, I’ll find me in you. Now I should probably do such a thing in person, it’s only right. But I have no clue when the next time I see you will be. This cannot wait. I’ve been anticipating this night my entire life. The night I ask you to be my wife. Haha, I kid I kid. Why am I so attracted to you? Oh right, because you’re attractive. You keep me wondering, you keep me on my toes. You keep me interested without trying. You’re very truthful and you don’t condone lying. I…I….damn I promised I wouldn’t hesitate. Okay damn, well would you look at the time. It’s getting late. Goodnight! *hangs up phone*

Ahh who am I kidding? She doesn’t feel the same way. What the hell do I have to give that she wants? What the hell have I said that would ever make my words believable? What the hell have I done that would make my actions justifiable? I’m a lazy, black man with goals that I’ll never achieve. When times get rough, I’ll just be a bitch about it and get over-emotional. I’ll never fully commit.

Those are words I never said and never will say. *Calls her back* Hello again cherie. I just called to say….

I love you

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Straight Or Curly

Man oh man, I really despise that bun. Can you please….like I’d get down on my knees and beg please…please take it down. Haha, yeah no, I wouldn’t beg. Instead, I would attack you and take it down myself. I’ll take the risk of getting bitten, scratched, slapped. All that just so I can play with your hair. So to avoid such a brawl, I suggest that when you know imma be around for a long period of time, take it down woman! Whether it’s curly or straight, I highly suggest you do so.

Straight. Can’t say it’s a hairstyle I hate. It brings out a look that is in a way, extravagent. It’s simple, it’s delicate. I can see how long your hair really is, I can run my fingers through it. It might get you the most compliments, but I wouldn’t necessarily ask for it. I’ll always remember your hair straight as a new look, one I wasn’t used to. It gave you this little umph, whatever that means, but it looks really good on you. But sometimes I want you to put it up, but not in a bun, no way. It’s a look that if you show me, will certaintly drive me crazy. It’s kind of like you’re a sexy hard working lady who’s had a long day and needs her hair out of her way so she puts in up with one of those big clips that makes me wanna stare a bit. Ahhh man. Straight. Defintely a look that I don’t hate.

Curly. Yessssssss, mothafuckin yes! Curly is the best. Lemme get something off my chest. When your hair is curly, it takes over me. Like I wanna….man I wanna bring you to me, yes body to body, grab your curls gently, pull your head back slow, stare into your eyes (more than a second) and then let go. Just when you think that’s it, I’ll kiss your lips. Shiiiiiiit, I like the sound of that so much that when I actually do it, I might have to make it a habit. But really though, your curly hair is great. I wouldn’t care if you always kept it that way. I love to pull it and watch it bounce. I love to get to every deep curl while I massage your scalp. I love whatever you put in it. Like I pretty much bury my face in your hair and take a sniff. Haha, don’t I sound like a maniac. I’m telling you that your hair is a natual aphrodisiac. I want your hair all to myself, I’ll refuse to share. Mannnn I might marry you just for your curly hair 😛

7 Days

7 days, or a week to some. They pass by before we know it, but again will soon come. I’ve been in a stage where I’m seeing if I’ll be able to go without some things. I wanna confirm that not having some things can basically suck, and I’m nervous about the distress it may bring. But during this time, I’ve learned that there are some things that I need to do, need to see. It’s really what makes me, me. In 7 days, I went without writing about you. It’s something that I would never forget to do. It was my release of feelings cause I guess I’m emotional. You wouldn’t want me to write if I wasn’t telling you so. It’s the words I put together. It’s how I’ll speak of things I remember and how I’ll go to feel your embrace no matter the weather. It’s being deep like saying I feel light as a feather when I’m with her. Some crap like that is what I say. Well it’s not really crap if I say it that way. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it was 7 days since my writing went away and it drove me a little crazy that I wasn’t writing and you wasn’t commenting lately. All this writing has its purpose. What’s crazy too is that I haven’t even scratched the surface. There’s something from the both of us that’s lurking. With some time, we’ll both know for certain. So my apologies my sweet, cannibalistic (that’s for biting me :P), gorgeous punk lady for being 7 days behind. Just know that I adore every little ounce of you, so always keep that in mind.

Can I?

I’ve had a long day, all with you on my mind. Every thought of you made me really smile this time. I come home to an empty house wishing you were around. But I don’t hear one thing, I don’t hear one sound. I want to know how you’re doing and how your day is going. I wanna know if you’ve smiled today, I wanna know if it’s still showing. I lay in my bed with every intention of dialing your number. I think I have it memorized if I remember. I just wanna hear your voice. I would hear it every single day if I had the choice. To see you, I would take that far walk. But before I go and do such a thing, I ask you…can we talk? Let’s talk about how crazy our families can get. Let’s talk about the first time we met. Bring up the stupid things I’ve done. Bring up the times we were serious with each other and the times we had fun. It’s been a long day so your voice needs to be heard. I rather talk to you than lay in this bed bored. I just wanna make you laugh. I just wanna say that I miss you and hear you say it back. So can we talk, even if it’s for a minute? Can I tell you about my dream last night before I forget it? Can we talk or do I have to guess? All I really wanna hear is you say yes.

I’ve been recently lost in a world filled with sighs. I’ve been hopelessly dreaming of staring into your eyes. I’ve been meaning to hug you from behind and kissing you on the cheek. I’ve been meaning to bring you close to me. I’ve been thinking lately of picking you up by your hips. I’ve been daydreaming lately of doing that and proceeding to kissing your lips. The anticipation has been killing me softly. I wonder if doing what I wanna do will be costly. Or will it jumpstart you on your way to loving me? No rush though, no hurry.  Can I kiss you nonstop as we cuddle? I won’t jump all over you, I promise I’ll be subtle. Your lips will compliment mine after such a long time coming like fine wine, the stars above will shine, we’ll lose track of time. Can I?

Thankful For…

Everyone has those things that keep them going each and every day. We are so thankful for those things to the point that we can hardly find the words to say. Well to express how we truly feel about it all. The things that were there for the times you rose to the things that were there whenever you began to fall. See, I’m thankful for my family, each and every member. They created memories for me since the day I was born and they are ones that I’ll always remember. Now my friends, many were made through two decades. They’ve been the cause of my laughter and the cause of my headaches. Through all the ups and downs, I’m thankful for those that stuck around. And I’m thankful for those that have yet to be found. Now as human beings, we have to believe in something. Besides believing in ourselves, we have to believe in one other thing. Lord, I thank you for all you’ve put me through. I couldn’t have learned one thing about life and myself if it wasn’t for you. The memories I’ve created, the hard times I hated. Through it all, these are words that I’ve stated. I’m thankful for the things in my life and even those things that have been there and taken away. I’m thankful for those things that I make the extra effort to have stay. Now if you know me and have paid me any mind lately, you know that I speak of a certain lady. She drives me crazy, but I can’t look her in the eyes for too long without my vision becoming a bit hazy. I’m thankful for her and how she’s such a blessing to adore. I’m thankful for the feeling she gives me every time I think of her, I’m thankful for what is still left in store. The smile she must have on her face at this very moment is something I’m thankful for. And I’m thankful for being able to have the ability to make that smile happen more and more. If you’re reading, know that I give thanks to the law of attraction for giving me you. You’re a positive feeling that I’ve always wanted, you’re a dream come true. I’m simply thankful for the opportunity to see your face. I’m thankful for the meaningful seconds of feeling your warm and loving embrace. Today is the day of being thankful for what you have, being thankful for what’s to come from all that you have in your grasp. I’ve spoken of my family and my beloved friends. They’ll be in my heart forever and you seem to be finding your very own space in there with every time together that we spend. I want you to know that the words that I began to say will be said once I know for sure. Until then, I’m thankful for you and everything else that’s amazing in my life that I should and am thankful for.

Pathetic

This is the end. It’s all over now. You don’t have to worry bout a thing. I’ll look the other direction and run for my life. All of this will be out your way soon. I’ll pull the plug and kill it forever. I’ll find the perfect place to bury it all. I won’t mark it so I’m never able to find it again. I’ll stop my hands from shaking. Then I will proceed to wipe the tears that possibly might follow the stupid look on my face I have from believing that I was lucky for once, that I was blessed, that I could have this with no hurtful pain in my chest. I’ll be selfish and never love a soul, be without a mate and just love myself. I’ll have a career that I do not love because I’m too busy loving myself because no one else will do so. I’ll have no emotion exposed to the rest of the world. I’ll become a zombie who shows no affection. I’ll use my pillow as a tissue and never move from my bed on the weekends. I’ll drown in my tears with no one to save me. I’ll become pathetic with no goals or aspirations. I’ll hate children, married couples, smiles, laughter. I’ll associate myself with nothing. I’ll be a simple speck in this place we call home. I’ll become nonexistent to those that ever had an ounce of love for me. I’ll never accept change. I’ll go crazy. I’ll go insane. I’ll live a terrible life because I was stupid to believe that my past was not haunting me and was not my future. I’ll know that my past is my future and I’ll just relive it over and over again until the day that I die. I’ll no longer feel alive. I’ll cry until I die. Pathetic.

Thief

You know that you have some nerve?! You thought that you could come into my life and do whatever you wanted?! You came all prepared. You brought all the right tools. It’s like you knew what was needed to break the chain. It’s like you knew what was needed to break the seal. Was there a master plan? By the looks of it, it just seemed to happen. You’re a thief, you know that? You’re an inconsiderate thief who I didn’t fight for a damn second. And why? Why would I allow such an inconsiderate thief to do what you did? It’s astonishing really. One day I was just sitting there and the next thing you know, I got this person in places that no one had access to. My restricted areas were being invaded by a….beautiful, smart, amazing, funny…..NO, NO!! They were invaded by a mastermind thief would did the job of many thieves. I’m still here, alive and breathing. Yet I don’t move a muscle to resist. I’m in shock. All I can seem to do is try to do the same. I’ve picked up on your ways thief!! I’m trying to break the seal, destroy the chain. I’m trying to steal your valuables. I’m trying to move in to an area where I may not even be wanted. Well maybe your intentions are not what I believe they are. Maybe you were searching for something simple, but seem to be finding gold. You’re an odd thief, you know that? You have these faces you make to distract me and you’re using the brightness of your smile to blind me. You even use the magic of your eyes to have me mesmerized. All so you can do your dirty work. I’ve caught on to you though and it’s my turn to do the same. I’ll find my pot of gold in you in no time. I’ll be happily living in your restricted areas soon. Don’t you see that this is a competition where we both cannot lose? It’s the competition of thieves. You’re tryna take something from me that I didn’t want to give up, but the way you’re going bout it, I might just do so. Your little something might be a little tougher, but the challenge has been accepted. Thief versus thief. The ultimate challenge for ultimately the same prize. We’re after the same thing. And the way we seem to be going, we shall both prevail.