As I lay me down to sleep, I pray that you dream of me. Posts after posts, I take note. I see the pattern in my writing. I see progress, it’s surprising. But I believe I need to be able to write without a single rhyme. I know I can do it and it’ll take some time. So let’s do it…
I catch myself thinking of you while I lay on my crooked bed. It makes me wanna write everything about you that I have in my head. Now you may be curious as to what it is that I’m thinking. My addiction to writing about you is like an alcoholic and their drinking. It’s my high, it’s my drug. It’s…just…your smile…it’s your hug. Dammit it’s everything, well just some things, no I mean everything! It’s the challenge to get you to sing. A moment with you is never boring. See you don’t see what I see, and really no one else does either. It’s hidden in your eyes and it’s only something I can describe on paper. When you can see potential, and feel connected with someone, but it’s not all mental. When you can open up with an ease that is shocking. When you glance at her hands and imagine your fingers interlocking. It’s the sweaty palms and rapid heartbeat. It’s having her guide you from a distance of how to get away from the giant deer that’s across the street. It’s getting to your room safely and letting her know. It’s trying to catch up by watching countless episodes of one of her favorite shows. It’s the way I wanna talk to her throughout the day. It’s the smile on my face whenever she walks my way. It’s, well, hard to say. I’m in love with her dreams. I’m infatuated with hugging her before I leave. I’m addicted to her eyes. Wonder why I look away after a while, at least I try. See this is my mind at this moment in time. I get ready to dream of you, cause I get to have you by my side. The best part about waking up is that I get to see the real thing, right? So as I lay me down to sleep, I’m hoping I say this right. Vous êtes incroyable et j’adore ça, sweet dreams, goodnight!
It’s not everyday you bump into amazing. It’s not everyday that you bump into the truth. I’m slowly starting to feel like I’m alive, I’m living. I’m slowly staring to become comfortable with you. I’ve thought this through, searching for the imperfections. I’ve made quick decisons on what I believed I should be doing. And I always find out that I made the wrong selection. I’ve never taken time to understand what it is I was pursuing. Now barriers always seem to exist. People talk, when in the future their words won’t mean a thing. But I’ve learn to look past their bullshit. And I take the time to listen to those times when it sings. Stress free, I am not. Motivation, I could use some. I’m in the midst of figuring out what life is all about. I’m trying to understand why some things go and some come. I think about the future. I think about my possible efforts. I’m looking for someone, are you her? I look and think until my head hurts. I’m looking for something spectacular, yet simple. Complications are there, I understand. But I’m looking for a smile with a dimple. I’m looking for that one that I can hold their hand, feel like the man and not feel so bland. Consistency. What does that entail? I’m continuosly making effort even simply when you look at me. I see deep in your eyes that you balance me, you’re a perfect fit on my libra scale. Connection. Be a complicated puzzle, I love them. Forgive me if I misunderstand you and allow me to make a correction. Be that puzzle in my life, you know I’d like to solve that problem. Let’s talk, shall we? A mutual conversation between whatever it is that we wanna be. A break we’ll take from the rest of the world as we escape reality. We begin to mold into something we never expected, something we both wanted coincidentally. This is so unlike me to go about it all this way. I really do make horrible decisions. Instead of going straight into it, I allow myself to speak while you listen to every word I say. I feel different lately, like I’m rejuvinating, and I can tell myself I’m not kidding. Sometimes when I stare, I’ll look away and look back to see if you’re still there. And about you, I care. This is a moment when life is fair. The very thought of you is calming, relaxing, a breath of fresh air.
Hands interlocked. Time is of no concern so there’s never a glance at the clock. For all we know, time has stopped. This moment in time really means a lot. The moment our eyes meet, my heart drops. Again, time stops. Everything is still while the two of us move slow. I hold you tight in my arms and never wanna let go. Cold fall nights. Many colored leaves on sight. I shiver a bit while the thought of you I fight. My only solution is to have you come out to me so I can hug you with all my might. It’s okay if we both shiver, as long as we’re together. I’ll hold you and never wanna let go through the harshest of weather. The warmth of your smile sometimes does it for me. But it can’t compete with you smiling while I hold you closely. Late nights laying in bed. Feels good and all, but I rather be with you instead. Your company I will soak in, and when it all comes to an end, I’ll reminisce over the time we just spent. And when I do, it’ll all be slow. From the moment I walked in to when I have to leave and never wanna let go. Straight hair or curly. Doesn’t matter which cause I love the way it feels against me. And your unidentified, wonderful scent. It’s the one that I always seem to smell and it gives me the goosebumps I rarely get. See I get really cold on my way to you, if you didn’t notice. It’s not a big deal really, it’s always worth it. Never let go, never let go. I never wanna let go, but is it noticeable? Sure it is, I make it obvious cause I want you to know. So I let it show. And one day, I’m telling you, I’ll never let go!
Wrapped in paper or put in a bag. Some type of gift on your birthday you just have to have. I was impressed by the one given to me. So imma talk about the ones imma give, all three. I hope they’re liked when they’re received, having you think I’m sweet. But I’ll make sure they’re not figured out by really being discrete.Gift #1:This gift is a simple one. I can’t take it back cause the purchase has already been done. Now this one shows that I listen and remember things you speak. So just know it’s hard to get things past me. It’s a really good gift, I personally like it. You can use it over and over again when you’re alone or with whomever you are with. That’s if you have the time to use it, if not, pass it my way. Actually no, I have to use my spare time to watch Grey’s Anatomy. So enjoy it even though you won’t use it much. But when you do wanna use it, having it will come in clutch.Gift #2:Ahahaha, this gift is a funny one. I can’t take it back cause the purchase has already been done. This gift represents something, you’ll see. You might or might not get “mad” at me. I was going to customize it, but found that I didn’t need to. But know that I’ll be laughing when I give it to you. And it also shows something small, you could say, that I learned about you. And I believe it fits you perfect or really hope that it does, I really do. As of now, it is the most expensive gift. I won’t tell you the cost, so you can talk under your breath and talk shit. I put some thought into this, or at least I think I did. Ahahaha, I bet you’re curious about what it is.Gift #3:This gift is actually an unknown one. I can not get it at all cause no purchase has been done. But it will be something, I have things in mind. I’m just waiting for that brilliant idea, my light bulb needs to shine. The idea I have now isn’t too creative, but it is the thought that counts. But the others I have in mind are expensive and you’d be pissed at the amount. So thanks to you I’m on a budget. But even on the budget I can get something thoughtful so fuck it. I kind of always want you to think of me. You’ll know what I mean when I give you the gift, you’ll see. I’m positive you’ll understand, like I’m 100% sure. Just remember that you’re representing scorpios on the 17th of November.I really can’t wait to surprise you with them all. They’re all things I thought of and didn’t just come across in the mall. You mean a lot to me so you deserve gifts with meaning. You’re special and I hope that you’re seeing what I’m seeing. So do me a favor after you read this. Never read it again and find a way to forget about all of it.
Times flys when you’re having fun. But it seems to go at the perfect pace when you’re with a certain someone. Someone who’s company you enjoy and they seem to enjoy yours. They could be sitting in a chair while you’re sitting on the floor. And you just talk about, well, pretty much everything. At times it can be serious, but you always end up laughing. And smiling, yes, you can’t leave out smiling. Something about your smile is so…uplifting. But there’s so many questions, guessing, and life lessons. You get so caught up in it that there’s really nothing to be stressing. As the hours past, you catch yourself noticing the separation. You start debating moving closer, but you end up waiting. Oh the hesitation. You never get around to moving and start making it obvious that you want to, you can’t pretend. So you decide to get over this by constantly looking at them. Just remember, there’s levels to this shit. So in order to move closer, you need to climb up until you get to be right beside the one you wanna be with. You’re the type of person who doesn’t just wanna stare. That space between you and them, you don’t want it to be completely there. You rather be close playing with their hair as you think of more things to share. All of a sudden, you catch yourself never wanting to leave. Especially cause there might be something out there that’ll attack you from across the street. You begin to yawn because of how tired you are. This is when you wanna suggest going outside, laying down, and staring at the stars. But the chill that you’ll experience ruins that thought. Even though their smile will keep you warm and with their body heat, you’ll be hot. But eventually they bring up the time. That is of no concern to you so you say that it’s fine. And in the back of your mind, you say a little something something, but express it as a sigh. They should know that you don’t care what time it may be. Cause you feel like, hey, as long as I’m with you and you’re with me. But it gets to that moment when you have to go. You get prepared to, but you take your time, you’re slow. 5 hours has really just passed. It’s about that time you walk me out, no questions asked. I hesitate for a bit before I’m gifted with that hug of hers. Then I begin to walk away thinking…until next time, for our usual 5 hours.
It’s the overdramatic sighs. It’s the rolling of the eyes. This punk isn’t too hard to describe. She’s fiesty with an occasional mean attitude. She’s not really mean though so forgive her if she comes off a little rude. She’s a punk nonetheless and a damn good one. You might catch her walking around rocking her punk-like bun. She’s pretty sassy, but keeps it classy. She’s a superpunk if you ask me. Okay okay, no, I made that up. But if I mention this to her face, she knows wassup. She’s a pretty lady making the same faces she did as a baby. Ahaha, that was priceless, man, that was crazy. She was a chubby little baby with an attitude already. She progressively built it up real nice and steady. Was she like this when she met me? Kinda, sorta, but came off a little gently. I’m kidding y’all, she’s a sweetheart. She represented who she was by keeping it real from the start. She has this magic power of making me smile. Wait, did someone say smile?! When’s the last time I smiled? It really hasn’t been a while. You ask if she’s smiling at this very moment in time. Of course she is, she does with every couple of rhymes. Wait, noooo, you said you wouldn’t smile. Stop it, stop, really though, stop. Keep in mind you’re not suppose to smile and start reading again from the top. Ahh, I did a bad job trying to make her smile, it won’t work. I wanted to make her smile until it hurt. Ahh whatever, she’s a punk anyway. The type of punk who will take your breath away. No I mean seriously, you’ll be short of breath because of laughter. Ahhhhh man, it’s my smile she’s after. She gets it when she first sees me and gets it when I go. You try to explain to me how crazy it is for a punk to do that, and all I say is “Oh, but I know!”.
So I’m just laying here watching a movie. Caught myself a couple of times wishing you were here watching with me. And actually, it was like that on Tuesday. You would think things would change, you know, it being a new day. But everyday is the exact same thing. I yearn to see your face to see how big of a smile on my face it’ll bring. And maybe I’m being selfish. But you told me it’s okay to be sometimes, if I want it, I should have it. And I’ll always remember that because it is true. I’m being selfish as I speak, because I want you. And I don’t care whether you do or you don’t. The bottom line is that I won’t let you pass me, I won’t. See a lot of people would confuse this for love. But they’d understand what it really was if they felt what I felt in your hugs. It’s something simple, I believe you’re a simple girl. All you need is a single rose, and we can then travel the world. No I know it’s not that simple. We gotta be on the same page, same line, gotta be the same word, maybe sentimental. I promise you I’m in like. And it’s something that warms me up to think about, it feels right. I’m gonna do things randomly, I’m gonna be spontaneous. They’re all gonna be thoughful, from the bottom of my heart, they’re gonna be PRICEless. I don’t have to just tell you how great you are or buy you things, I know better. It’s all about things like a good morning, a goodnight, or a hand written letter. I’m all about your independent ways, I love that about you. Oops, I mean, damn, I just said what I wouldn’t do. But I can’t help it, ahh damn, here I go smiling again. I should end this right now and just press send. Or I can pretend that I didn’t say that [but you know I did 😉 ]. Really, again, you got me smiling (just a smidge). Haha, it’s honestly mind blowing how you’re able to do this from a distance and you don’t really have to do anything. Just the thought of you has me like this, imagine when I see the real thing. Late nights here, me watching another movie. Again wishing you here next to me. We could be watching something you want to watch. It doesn’t matter how long it takes for you to choose something, as long as you’re here with me in place of my late night thoughts.